Wednesday, November 30, 2011

How to Butcher a Chicken

Method #1
Kneel or step on the chicken's feet and wings.
Stretch the neck out.
Slit neck with sharp knife to drain blood.
Refrain from splattering blood all over you while the chicken spasms.

What not to do: cut the head completely off because the knife is freakishly sharp (blood will go everywhere)




Method #2
Place a pole on the chicken's neck.
Step on the pole while pulling up on the chicken's feet.

What not to do: Pull so hard the head pops off (its just gross)




Method #3
Swing chicken sharply around by the neck to break the spine.

What not to do: Be timid about it (you'll just have a poor flailing ALIVE chicken)







1 comment:

  1. I asked Kroger for a live chicken to test your theories, but apparently there's some law about farm animals in a city...

    ReplyDelete